It's been a while i didn't open my blog. I was pretty busy this lately... busy for something that I just met for about month.. I got a job, recently, actually it is not recent anymore since I've been worked in this company for almost 6 months. I did love my job here, I love my supervisor, Tiffany, I love almost every coworker here; I believe some of them love me too while in the other side there are some people who don't really understand why the other love my existence here.
My life is pretty different compare with what I had before. Everything changed, the environment, the sleeping schedule, the shopping time, social life, almost everything changed here. First of all, I live in the dorm here, pretty far away from everywhere, which makes me going one step far from normal civilazation. The second one, the internet connection here is terrible, which pulls me one more step far from my previous social life. Beside that, I've been really really busy without any reasonable reason. It is not because I can't accomplish my task, but it actually because I'm working as a new employee in a new company, where everything was messed up due some unclear reason. When I asked someone why this things happen here, they said, "it's normal for new company. Don't need to be shocked or worried". That was the first time in my life I feel really really "lost", and I almost crazy for that. But don't worry, I am fine here, and still in the normal mentally condition till this moment. The third changes things is my daily life schedule. I used to study everyday before, I even love to visit the library during my free time. And I would have time to watch some Naruto episode before I sleep. That what I usually did before I move to this place. For now, I don't even have time to watch my Naruto series, and once I have free time to watch it, again,,, I stuck with the internet connection problems here, so.. I guess.. I will just give up for my Naruto series till they could manage to provide a better internet connection here.
I think above points is the most extreme changes of my habit right now. I am not complaining for the changes, I just hope I could survive here with those changes, and I guess I'm fine with them. Probably it's time to change.. My "fun" term is over and I turned to another "serious" term life. Honestly, I learned a lot here, that's why I am glad to be here. I don't know what might happen in the future, but I'm sure there is something good waiting for me to discover in the future, and I am on the way to discover the "buried treasure" right now. So, no matter what happen, I believe there is a lesson need to be learned in every step of my life. I am on this progress right now, and it isn't bad at all. I tried to enjoy my days here and I think I get use for it now. I am doing good here, I start my day with a smile in my face, I did cry for some reason, but overall,,, I think I am fine, I just need more time to adapt with this new life.
Last but not least... somehow I feel I am blessed here.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Monday, April 16, 2012
Monday, February 28, 2011
A Beautiful Life (story)
I am here, alone. Driving my old motorcycle, go along my town street. My meeting with Darren, my high school’s friend two hours a go was still left on my mind. He asked me why I didn’t come to his party last Saturday night. And I do not have the answer. I wanted to say that he had not invited me, but I cancelled, and just keep the answer on my mind. That fact will hurt me more than to him.
She is not the first friend of mine, who’s no longer involved me in their life. Situation changed. Yea... I know. We are no longer in high school anymore. So, situa-tion got changed. Although actually, I never thought that my world would turn up side down like this after my high school graduation. Back at that time, I always imagined that friendship would last forever. We will be friends forever, just like our promises.
However, situation got changed. My friends, now, are old enough to get driv-ing licenses. And as soon as they get it, their parents give them a new car. The newest car that even its advertisement has not yet released. At first, it was fun. They let me join them to test their car, and of course, their driving skill. That was great experience for me, remembering that my parents can only inherit me old motorcycle. But this fun just like mist in the morning. Soon, as fast as they learn to drive smoothly, they start to ride without my presence.
Fashion also leads our friendship to different ways. With my baggy trousers, old t-shirt, and don’t forget my big thick eyeglasses, I looked like an alien when I hang out with my old high school friends. They wore leather pants and cool t-shirt with low-nicotine cigarette between their lips. So fashionable. So expensive. So far from my financial ability. Hahaha. In high school, where everyone had to wear uni-forms, these differences were not very clearly appeared. I had the same self-confidence as every friend I had. Not like now, when I have to hide on my friend’s back every time we walk on the mall or any public places. I don’t want to embarrass my self, if you want to know why.
The most upsetting point happened when I had to face the fact that my parents can’t afford for my higher education. As blue-collar worker, my father expected me to find a job as soon as possible, to help him support our family financial problems. So, there I am, sitting at the back of the cashier table of Guard, mini market nearby my neighbourhood. This job, though helps me cover my little sister’s school fee, was so pathetic. Sitting from 10 a.m. to 04 p.m. every day really gave me pain in my ass! Really! So, while my friends started to go to their university to reach every dream they have, I was stuck at this point! When they read literature works, I spent most of my time reading expiration date on the label can.
I did not blame my faith. No! I faced this situation as cool as every 19 years old teenagers could. I did my job well. I gave my attention to every customer coming, including sweet smile for extra. I read in public library to sharpen my brain. I also took care of my “ancestor”; I used to call my motorcycle like that, although this “ancestor” sometimes forced me to pull it a long the road. Especially, I never blamed my parents for every thing that happens to me. They love me as much as every parent can do. It was not their fault that I couldn’t go to the university or that I only had motorcycle to ride. They supported me with love and laughter. And every time I felt disappointed with my friends, they were always there for me, giving diversion for my broken heart. It is a beautiful life.
Though, if this is a beautiful life, why I am here? Sitting on my old motorcy-cle, smoking cheap cigarette, doing nothing on the rail waiting for the train. If this is a beautiful life, why am I not moving from my spot as the train is getting closer and closer? If this is a beautiful life, why are tears rolling down my cheek when I heard the train thundering straight to my spot? Why don’t I fell any regret when the train runs over my body? Why there is no peace that I expect when I heard my bones bro-ken into pieces? Why? Because this is a beautiful li...
End.
She is not the first friend of mine, who’s no longer involved me in their life. Situation changed. Yea... I know. We are no longer in high school anymore. So, situa-tion got changed. Although actually, I never thought that my world would turn up side down like this after my high school graduation. Back at that time, I always imagined that friendship would last forever. We will be friends forever, just like our promises.
However, situation got changed. My friends, now, are old enough to get driv-ing licenses. And as soon as they get it, their parents give them a new car. The newest car that even its advertisement has not yet released. At first, it was fun. They let me join them to test their car, and of course, their driving skill. That was great experience for me, remembering that my parents can only inherit me old motorcycle. But this fun just like mist in the morning. Soon, as fast as they learn to drive smoothly, they start to ride without my presence.
Fashion also leads our friendship to different ways. With my baggy trousers, old t-shirt, and don’t forget my big thick eyeglasses, I looked like an alien when I hang out with my old high school friends. They wore leather pants and cool t-shirt with low-nicotine cigarette between their lips. So fashionable. So expensive. So far from my financial ability. Hahaha. In high school, where everyone had to wear uni-forms, these differences were not very clearly appeared. I had the same self-confidence as every friend I had. Not like now, when I have to hide on my friend’s back every time we walk on the mall or any public places. I don’t want to embarrass my self, if you want to know why.
The most upsetting point happened when I had to face the fact that my parents can’t afford for my higher education. As blue-collar worker, my father expected me to find a job as soon as possible, to help him support our family financial problems. So, there I am, sitting at the back of the cashier table of Guard, mini market nearby my neighbourhood. This job, though helps me cover my little sister’s school fee, was so pathetic. Sitting from 10 a.m. to 04 p.m. every day really gave me pain in my ass! Really! So, while my friends started to go to their university to reach every dream they have, I was stuck at this point! When they read literature works, I spent most of my time reading expiration date on the label can.
I did not blame my faith. No! I faced this situation as cool as every 19 years old teenagers could. I did my job well. I gave my attention to every customer coming, including sweet smile for extra. I read in public library to sharpen my brain. I also took care of my “ancestor”; I used to call my motorcycle like that, although this “ancestor” sometimes forced me to pull it a long the road. Especially, I never blamed my parents for every thing that happens to me. They love me as much as every parent can do. It was not their fault that I couldn’t go to the university or that I only had motorcycle to ride. They supported me with love and laughter. And every time I felt disappointed with my friends, they were always there for me, giving diversion for my broken heart. It is a beautiful life.
Though, if this is a beautiful life, why I am here? Sitting on my old motorcy-cle, smoking cheap cigarette, doing nothing on the rail waiting for the train. If this is a beautiful life, why am I not moving from my spot as the train is getting closer and closer? If this is a beautiful life, why are tears rolling down my cheek when I heard the train thundering straight to my spot? Why don’t I fell any regret when the train runs over my body? Why there is no peace that I expect when I heard my bones bro-ken into pieces? Why? Because this is a beautiful li...
End.
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