Once upon a time not long a go, I have a very not nice conversation with one of my best friend. In the middle of cold pass midnight, we are talking about my life. As you know, my life’s sucks. So it was a goddamned sucks conversations! We are talking about how can I ever did some decision before. About the price that cost me for making those choices. About every absu’fucking’lutely things that happened to me after it. About the effects that come after it.
I believe that she did it for her concern of me. And I really appreciate it. It is hard to find such good friend like her. The willingness that she has to receive every pain that I have is way over touching me. She is the perfect listener that I had for that moment. When burdens are too heavy for me to handle by myself, she is the first thing that is need, a friend to listen.
It just that, there are things in my life that I am not ready to share to anyone else. There is certain burden that I am not yet ready to tell even to someone I trusted most. The pain that so heavy for even it is too hard for me to let it out from my mouth. Things that are there for me to cry on and on for there is nothing else I can do.
I wonder, is it just me, or you too feel that there are things in your life that you are not willing anyone to know? Things that you are too afraid to admit? Some past situation that you are desperately avoid to talking about to anyone but your own thought? Things that haunted you all the times and you know that the solution is to tell anyone, but you never did that. Things that are in the top of your tongue, but never released in any conversations.
Do we always have to carry all that pain by ourselves? Or do we have to let someone we trust to know? Do we strong enough to just pull out the trash form our brain and spare it to the floor? Or do we have to swallow all of that trash again and hurt our tongue for the trash is sharp enough to cut our throat?
I don’t know. I’m not yet found the answer. But I promise you my friend, when I know I will tell you the answer. After that, maybe I can start thinking about the best way for me to allow you to sit in and listen to my life’s story.
By the way, what you have done was helping me enough for now. And I thank you for being there and asking. Once again, thank you for that after hour conversation.
I believe that she did it for her concern of me. And I really appreciate it. It is hard to find such good friend like her. The willingness that she has to receive every pain that I have is way over touching me. She is the perfect listener that I had for that moment. When burdens are too heavy for me to handle by myself, she is the first thing that is need, a friend to listen.
It just that, there are things in my life that I am not ready to share to anyone else. There is certain burden that I am not yet ready to tell even to someone I trusted most. The pain that so heavy for even it is too hard for me to let it out from my mouth. Things that are there for me to cry on and on for there is nothing else I can do.
I wonder, is it just me, or you too feel that there are things in your life that you are not willing anyone to know? Things that you are too afraid to admit? Some past situation that you are desperately avoid to talking about to anyone but your own thought? Things that haunted you all the times and you know that the solution is to tell anyone, but you never did that. Things that are in the top of your tongue, but never released in any conversations.
Do we always have to carry all that pain by ourselves? Or do we have to let someone we trust to know? Do we strong enough to just pull out the trash form our brain and spare it to the floor? Or do we have to swallow all of that trash again and hurt our tongue for the trash is sharp enough to cut our throat?
I don’t know. I’m not yet found the answer. But I promise you my friend, when I know I will tell you the answer. After that, maybe I can start thinking about the best way for me to allow you to sit in and listen to my life’s story.
By the way, what you have done was helping me enough for now. And I thank you for being there and asking. Once again, thank you for that after hour conversation.
