goodbyes are a part of life

People said, “goodbyes are a part of life”. I guess it really is a part of life. Especially at this point of time in my life. I know its the same thing that every person has gone through, when I watched friends I held close to, moving away, and wondered if we will ever meet again. All the treasured moments in college, all those wonderful teachers, those juniors and ever helpful seniors, all the wonderful places there that a friend Have bid goodbye to them, but not to the memories they have created. That will linger on.

I’ve learnt during this long boring vacation – to be grateful to all those people who have made life so much better- worth living. From the acquaintance who used to just say hai and smile when s/he met you,.. to the restaurant's owner nearby your college, to the great pals at college - the best one could ask for, I'd say, you were the best pals ever. 

Isn’t this what every teen wanted to say at this point ? Didn’t all of you who went through this(everyone does) think it was a terrible time? spend hours and hours thinking of the past and what all you are going to miss? even cried?. This is me speaking for all those people who wanted to cry out to their past, who wanted to cry out to all their friends to give back the happy times. Who wanted to get back to the ones who had already gone away. I guess, I really miss my best pal now.

This post is dedicated to all those special people who made me what i am, and life loads more interesting. Wherever you head to, you and i will meet again, friends. When we’re least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won’t say goodbye my friend, For you and i will meet again. 

 

Life today forever changed,
Changed into loneliness,
Loneliness and fear,
Fear with none of you,
You who were everything to me,
I miss you,
I miss you every moment of the day,
Day in and day out,
Out of tears i sit awake and carefully listen,
Listen for you…in case,
just in case,
…How i miss you.

Somehow I know we'll meet again, not quite sure where and not sure when, your in my heart so until then good-bye.

I've learned...

I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.
I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.
I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.
I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.
I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.
I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.
I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.
I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Rocks, Pebbles and Sand

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”
“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.
The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”
“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.
Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand

Rocks, Pebbles and Sand

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”
“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.
The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”
“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.
Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand

What makes life worth living?

When people have to cope with difficult situation in their lives, they sometimes reassure themselves by saying everything happens for a reason. For some people, thinking this way makes it easier to deal with their problems, relationship problems, financial crisis, disease, death, and even natural disaster such as earthquake. It can be distressing to think that bad things happen merely through chance or accident. But, they actually do.


The saying that everything happens for a reason is the modern, New Age version of the old religious saying: "It's God's will." The two sayings have the same problem - the complete lack of evidence that they're true. Not only there is no good evidence that God exists, we have no way of knowing what it is that s/he wanted to happen, other than that it actually did happen. Did God really will that hundreds of thousands of people die in an earthquake in one of the world's poorest countries? What could be the reason for this disaster and the ongoing suffering of million of people deprived of food, water and shelter? Why do people find it reassuring that the Haiti earthquake happened for a reason such the will of God, when such terrible events suggest a high degree of malevolence in the universe or its alleged creator? Fortunately, such events can alternatively - and with good evidence- be viewed as the result of accidents and possibly even of chance.


The idea that chance is an objective property of the universe was advocated in the nineteenth century by the great American philosopher Charles Sanders Pierce, who called this doctrine tychism, from the Greek word for chance. Scientific support for the doctrine came in the twentieth century with the development of quantum theory, which is often interpreted as implying that some events such radioactive decay are inherently unpredictable.

Even if events that affect human lives do not happen by quantum chance, many of them should be viewed as happening by accident, in the sense that they are the improbable result of the intersection of independent causal chains. The deaths in Haiti, for example, is the result of many causal chains, primarily the historical events that led to million of people living near Port-au-Prince, and the seismic events occurring in the tangle of tectonic faults near the intersection of two crustal plates. These deaths were accidental happened in the intersection of the unconnected causal chains and this was unpredictable. Neither history nor seismology are random, but their intersection often are so unforeseeable that we should call them accidental. These deaths were accidental in the intersection of the unconnected causal chains.

The doctrine that everything happens for a reason has intellectual variants. The German philosopher, Hegel; what is rational is real and what is real is rational. Similarly, before the recent meltdowns in the financial system, it was a dogma of economic theory that individuals and markets are inherently rational. Some naive evolutionary biologist and psychologist assume that all common traits and behaviors must have evolved from an optimizing process of natural selection. In history, economics, biology and psychology, we should always be willing to consider evidence for the alternative hypothesis that some events occur because of a combination of chance, accidents and human irrationality.

If the real isn't rational, how can we cope with life's disaster? Fortunately, even without religious or New Age illusions, people have many psychological resources for coping with the difficulties of life. These include cognitive strategies for generating explanations and problem solutions and emotional strategies for managing the fear, anxiety and anger that naturally accompany setbacks and threats. Psychological research has identified many ways to build resilience in individuals and groups, such as developing problem solving skills and strong social networks. Life can be highly meaningful even if some things that happen are just accident. Stuff happens and you deal with it. 

Diversity in a Workplace

Even after more than 10 years staying in this country, it still amazes me the number of companies that request a specific sex, religion, or ethnic background, when looking to hire a new member of their team. I have discussed the trend with a number of companies over the years and the response seems to either focus on “feeling comfortable working with people with a similar outlook” or based on stereotypes. While I believe the customer is always right, I do try and encourage companies to explore a more diverse recruitment policy, as I feel they are isolating themselves from some outstanding talent.

One of my friend shared with me the situation in her office, where most of staff are men, come from Java, and most were even from the same university. If only I could have a chance to get an opportunity to create diversity in one environment, I will definitely use that great chance to make improvement in this country. Staff turnover will be increased during this period but I will felt the benefits were worth the pain. I will made an effort to try and build a diverse team in Indonesia.

The reason I was willing to go through this tough time was because in my experience, employees with diverse backgrounds bring unique experiences and different points of view to a company. Being able to tap in to this pool of experiences and differing views can benefit the company by increasing a teams ability to adapt to changing conditions and deliver better results. A diverse workplace also provides opportunity for employees' personal growth. Being exposed to new ideas, cultures and perspectives can help individuals to gain a clearer view of their surroundings and their place in the world.

This diverse workplace has lowered employee turnover and ultimately contributed to the growth of the company. Most importantly is has created an environment that is energetic and welcoming of new ideas.

Is it worth holding on to?

When you're about to leave, look back and remember the war you have been through.

This is what actually happen to me right at this moment. I am pretty tired guys.. I am not tired for working over night or walking though those way down to factory, not at all. I just tired to get argue with someone I deeply love for my job. He didn't complain or angry for my busy days here, he just worried too much sometimes. I know he loves me, but unfortunately it seems that he don't believe me that I do love him too. Sometimes, I just have no more idea how to continue to sit on my desk with this situation. Sometimes, I even ask myself, do I need to leave this company to avoid this kind of argue? Just say I'm leaving this building, then where should I walk, which direction? I have too much things to think, honestly my head is overloaded recently.

I tried to start my days with big smile, no matter how hurt my heart is, no matter how much pain I suffered the night before. Sometimes, I do want to give up on my job, then I looked back for what I've been through here, even sometimes I looked back for what I've been through in college, before I announced as the first rank in my dept, the best students in the class, the most hard-working student in German dept, the one who got a change to go to Germany for exchange student program; for those accomplishment I got, do I really have to give up now?


The most difficult situation you can ever be faced with is deciding whether you should just move on or hold on a little tighter.

Life's change

It's been a while i didn't open my blog. I was pretty busy this lately... busy for something that I just met for about month.. I got a job, recently, actually it is not recent anymore since I've been worked in this company for almost 6 months. I did love my job here, I love my supervisor, Tiffany, I love almost every coworker here; I believe some of them love me too while in the other side there are some people who don't really understand why the other love my existence here.

My life is pretty different compare with what I had before. Everything changed, the environment, the sleeping schedule, the shopping time, social life, almost everything changed here. First of all, I live in the dorm here, pretty far away from everywhere, which makes me going one step far from normal civilazation. The second one, the internet connection here is terrible, which pulls me one more step far from my previous social life. Beside that, I've been really really busy without any reasonable reason. It is not because I can't accomplish my task, but it actually because I'm working as a new employee in a new company, where everything was messed up due some unclear reason. When I asked someone why this things happen here, they said, "it's normal for new company. Don't need to be shocked or worried". That was the first time in my life I feel really really "lost", and I almost crazy for that. But don't worry, I am fine here, and still in the normal mentally condition till this moment. The third changes things is my daily life schedule. I used to study everyday before, I even love to visit the library during my free time. And I would have time to watch some Naruto episode before I sleep. That what I usually did before I move to this place. For now, I don't even have time to watch my Naruto series, and once I have free time to watch it, again,,, I stuck with the internet connection problems here, so.. I guess.. I will just give up for my Naruto series till they could manage to provide a better internet connection here.

I think above points is the most extreme changes of my habit right now. I am not complaining for the changes, I just hope I could survive here with those changes, and I guess I'm fine with them. Probably it's time to change.. My "fun" term is over and I turned to another "serious" term life. Honestly, I learned a lot here, that's why I am glad to be here. I don't know what might happen in the future, but I'm sure there is something good waiting for me to discover in the future, and I am on the way to discover the "buried treasure" right now. So, no matter what happen, I believe there is a lesson need to be learned in every step of my life. I am on this progress right now, and it isn't bad at all. I tried to enjoy my days here and I think I get use for it now. I am doing good here, I start my day with a smile in my face, I did cry for some reason, but overall,,, I think I am fine, I just need more time to adapt with this new life.

Last but not least... somehow I feel I am blessed here.

Am I Alone??

Once upon a time not long a go, I have to confront the feeling that I usually can deny. It was started when I sat on my boarding room, listening to Manhattan Transfer’s album and replying some email or messages that was sent by my friends on facebook. To keep my eyes open, I pour a glass of wine. The first glass then followed by another glass and another glass and much more another glass. Before I realize, I was already drunk! During my drunk, every emotion that was keep inside me flooding out like tsunami wave. In normal condition, I always react my emotion with though and strong confident. Under alcohol condition, I am just a girl who lost in the crowd, crying to be save by his father.

On my drunken situation, I have to stand face to face with my loneliness. In the surface, I may look happy about my life. Peoples around me see me as hard worker, ambitious and have bright future young women. The fact that I have no one beside me was something that I never realized before. I mean, I knew I am single, live alone, and make friend with laptop. But, it doesn’t mean that I am alone, right?

I wonder is there anyone else feeling the same with me? Feel that you are all alone in this world full of people? When communication gadget was improved amazingly, is there any of us feel that we are, truly, all alone?
Is it just me or you too, busy with our own life, without realizing that we are sadly alone? Or maybe we realize it, but keep on deny it? Our heart desperately demands for someone, but our mind avoids it by keep telling ourselves that we are not alone? Our minds have the strongest power, you know. We even can say that we are not ill, while our nose has turn to blue for cold.

Maybe this is what happens to me. All this years, my mind keeps on saying that I am not alone. Without my conscious, I then accept that as I am living. That theory explains why I feel alone when I am drunk. People’s minds are dull when he is drunk, right? So when I drunk, my heart takes my mind’s place on organizing my emotion and tadaaa… all the hidden feeling are revealing. That also explains why drunker feel that s/he is more miserable than anyone else is. Because actually we are all living miserable, it just that we are not realise it.

Later that night, when I am drunk enough, I bravely decided to call the love of my life, Indrawan. His answering machine answered. I, then, talked to that god damned machine saying how much I miss him, how sorry I am for everything that happened, and how desperately lonely I am without him. Or maybe something else, I can’t remember exactly what I said. I am drunk, remember? I do not know whether he has listened my message or not, for he never reply or gave comments about it. Well, maybe he needs to be drunk first before he has enough courage to reveal what he feels about me and tell me about it.

“…people fell her/his loneliness not when s/he is sad or fail, s/he faced it exactly when s/he laugh for her/his success but there are no one to laugh with…”

above story was originally written a long time ago, when Tyrannosaurus Rex was a king. Hahahaha

Do what we love or love what we do

Do what you love to do. Have you ever imagine of working everyday in your life, hating every single minute of doing your work? Well i have tried, but i can't imagine it. I think it's too disastrous. Well then, to avoid that, we have 2 options. Do what we love, or love what we do. While we still have chance, as we're young now, I'd rather choose the first one. =)

A lot of people say (well, success people said it in their seminars, books, or whatsoever, then i heard from many sources, friends mostly =p) to do what we love is one of the great secrets of success. This is also one of our primary responsibility in life. It is to find out what we really enjoy doing. What is our natural talent, and then to throw our whole heart into doing that very very well. Like one of my mentor often says, "Stand in your position of strength".

To be success we have to find the field where our natural strengths and abilities are exactly, what is required to do our job so that we can achieve the result we desired. Most success people said that they never work a day in their life. When we are doing what we love to do, we seem to have a continuous flow of excitement, energy, and idea to do what we do even better. 

Here are two important questions to help you : if you have already become a successful person and have all the money and time you need, would you continue what you are currently doing? Would you stay at your current activity? These simple questions will actually tell you what you're really dreaming for, where your heart belongs. People who succeed in their life usually will say that they will continue what they are currently doing. They love their work so much that they won’t even think of leaving it or retiring. Perhaps the greatest responsibility of adult life, when we are surrounded by so many different choices of occupation or activity, is for us to find out what it is that we really love doing and then to dedicate our self to that field and no one else can do it for us. Each one of us is unique and when we can develop our "uniqueness" and become the best of ourselves, we will succeed.

No career or other person can bring you satisfaction if you are dissatisfied with yourself. Because who we are makes a difference.